The Concept of Happiness

What is happiness and how to achieve it?

What is the most popular universal desire of all people? It is to become happy, right? Everybody strives to achieve happiness in life. However, I think that a lot of the time people are mistaken about the idea that they can achieve happiness at some point in life when EVERYTHING will be perfect and then they will be happy forever. A lot of people think if only I could have that dream house, find love in life, get married, get that degree or dream job, that car, or whatever it is - then I will be happy. Right? Do you recognize that you have these thoughts sometimes?

Well, the problem with this is that you will not achieve happiness when everything will be perfect, first of all because nothing will be perfect ever:) No, I’m not being pessimistic. It won’t be perfect. The idea of achieving happiness by doing something or by obtaining something material or by even relying on the fact that somebody else will make you happy is fundamentally wrong and it’s impossible. Because think about it, if at some point in life you get what you want, it will make you happy but not forever. Imagine that you found the love of your life and got married, will that make you happy? - yes, for a day for a week, but not forever. You get that dream job, will you be happy?- yes, the day you get an offer you would be happy, but what after that? There will be days when you will struggle at your dream job, there will be days when you won’t be happy with your marriage, there will always be good and bad days…So by attaching the idea of happiness to external things or people you are assigning them the power over your happiness. And the power is in you, you able to make yourself happy and even make it sustainable not constant but more frequent.

I don’t think that happiness is some kind of a thing that can be achieved in some point of life and then it will stay with you forever. No, happiness is just a feeling, it’s an emotion that you already experience at times, just like sadness, anger, disappointment, guilt and all other emotions. That emotion of happiness comes and goes, it’s not possible to experience it all the time because every emotion has an ability to switch and change into another emotion. For example, you could be happy in one moment because you are eating your favorite ice cream and could be disappointed right next moment when that ice cream falls on the ground:) And it’s not bad, because imagine how boring your life would be if you only experienced one emotion at all times. If you were happy constantly and there was nothing else that would change to probably become boring at some point. Or if you were sad every day that would make life miserable and people lose hope and desire to live (in cases of depression by the way), or if you experienced anger constantly at all times, then it would be horrible to be in that state all the time. Normally, people experience emotions and then they change into other emotions. For example if you are angry with something and you expressed your anger then it is possible that you would feel relieved after that, sometimes anger changes to sadness and so on.

However it's very possible to feel happiness from within, and it’s possible to increase the chances of you feeling happier every day. If you make an effort it’s possible to experience these feelings of happiness more often, more frequently than you do right now and more frequently that any other emotions and make it sustainable. And that would be a great scenario, right?

I’d like to share with you how to become happy and how to achieve that state when you will be able to feel happiness and joy every day.

First step:

Shift the focus from the external world into the internal world. Stop thinking that something external or materialistic like buying a car or a house, getting a job, degree, whatever you are dreaming of will make you happy. It will but just for a moment, for a day but it’s not going to be there forever. But Then it will change because nothing is constant in this world. The material things or looking for answers in somebody else (like a partner) won’t make you happy.

The only person that can help you feel happier is YOU. You got to help yourself. The answer is in you. So shift your thinking from external to internal, and start thinking what can you do to make yourself happier?

Second step:

Stop thinking that it’s going to happen sometime in the future because life is not a race. It’s not a destination, it’s a journey (unknown author). I feel like lot’s of people make the race out of their lives, constantly running somewhere into the future, trying to achieve something and then onto the next thing to some unachievable point. But it’s not a race, it's a marathon. The difference between race and marathon is that everybody is doing it at their own pace. Everybody has a unique path, pace, and talents. Somebody can go slower, somebody can go faster, so stop comparing yourself to others. You are not them, and they are not you. You are absolutely unique. There are 7.8 billion people in this world and everybody is absolutely unique. Isn’t that magical? That every single one of you have your own unique talents to share with this world.

So back to my point - shift the focus on yourself. What can you do to make yourself happier today? Not tomorrow, not this weekend, not next year, not in ten years but today. If you think about it, if you are happy today, then tomorrow today's day will become your past, right? And your life consists of the past, present, and future. And today's day will become your past tomorrow. So if you live happy today, that means you are living a happy present, and tomorrow you will have a happier past. We only do have a present moment that we can control, change and influence, and you can do it today.

So what makes you happy? Is it certain ice cream, or bubble bath, or hike, or yoga, or spending quality time with your child? Any small step counts. What brings you the feelings of joy?

Try to answer these questions and take a little tiny step today to a happier YOU.